goy toffee

When I sent my dear friend Beth my family holiday card this year(complete with the image of a Menorah proudly lit and a gothic font announcing “Happy Holidays”) she told me, not only was I becoming too American, but extremely goy as well. Her tone conveyed part shock, part disappointment, and part victory. Shock, most likely because I had put up a good argument in my eighteen years living in this country that I would never succumb to the cheesy Sears-like family portraits I deemed beneath me, disappointment because I did succumb to the cheesy Sears-like family portraits I deemed beneath me, and victory because I succumbed to the cheesy Sears-like family portrait I deemed beneath me. Beth knows me better than I know myself, so, none of this came to be much of a surprise to her, and in truth, what she was really feeling was happiness that I had finally grown up enough to accept this American tradition of sending a family portrait picture out every Christmas or Hanukah, or whatever.Having a family has helped curve some of my rebellious ways against such traditions. I guess I have rebelled against them all these years because, a) accepting them and partaking in them would actually make me a grown-up (something I have a hard time processing even at 37) and b) having grown up in Venezuela within a patchwork of cultures and customs can leave a person pretty confused, and c) before you have a family and lose all couth to an uncontrollable urge to share your adorable offsprings with anyone with a functioning eyeball, those Sears-like portraits really ARE cheesy and beneath anyone, especially a Barnard graduate.But things are all different now. I look forward to those portraits (yes Beth, I do) andI have adopted another American goy tradition as my own as well: the giving of holiday cookies, a tradition that, as a Jew, and as a not-raised-in-the-United-States Jew, I seem to unwillingly be butted out of. During this time of giving and all that crap, millions upon millions of tins filled with thousands upon thousands of holiday treats are being swapped. I can smell it in the air and hear it in the buzz of conversations, but none fall my way. It is a Christmas Club I have not been invited to, so, like any good Jew will do, I invite myself. In this melting pot of cultures and beliefs, food trumps it all, so I am sure no one will mind. I simply cannot resist the urge to bake, even if it’s in the name of St. Nick.EASY GOY TOFFEE:1 cup butter1 cup brown sugar1 (10 ounce) package saltine crackers1 (12 ounce) package semisweet chocolate1/2 cup chopped walnutsPreheat oven to 400 degrees FIn a small saucepan over medium-high heat, melt butter with brown sugar. Bring to a boil and cook for 5 minutes without stirring.Remove from heat.Meanwhile arrange crackers (salt side up) on a jelly roll pan. Pour butter mixture over crackers.Bake for 5 minutes.Turn oven off,Remove and sprinkle chocolate chips and nuts over crackers. Place in warm oven for 5 minutes.Remove and let cool. Slice up into squares.