29 October 2009 
If I had another child it would be made out of coconut. Because coconut is smooth, and creamy and simply delicious. It wouldn’t talk back or whine or demand to be fed. It wouldn’t wear diapers, strain mortgages, or keep me up at night with worry.
It would be tall and ethereal and covered in meringue fluff. The inside would be a rich, decadent buttercream frosting, and I would play with it, play play play with it on its own clean cake stand. I’d twirl and whirl and smooth and shape, and it would glisten and mold just for me.
My family would deem me nuts. First she names her raw poultry, then her appliances, and now this? It may be too much for them, and they are a forgiving bunch. But they’d see the happiness in my eyes, and my children, wise beyond their years albeit at the tender ages of ten and seven, would know that mom wasn’t replacing them with a coconut cake, she was just loving them more because of it. (The fact that she’d forgotten they passed their TV limit a half an hour ago was merely a bonus.)
But they love their mom, even when she sings (although they claim to hate her singing they really do love it) and there she would be, cake scraper in hand, a bowl full of sweet fluffiness beside her, and her newborn baby cake growing and spinning and she’d be singing, not your ordinary lullaby (because such a child would demand different, something more potent and self-assured as this coconut cake would be, something only Ella Fitzgerald could pull off, a Cole Porter special of course, she’d sing:
Eventually husband would come back from one of his many business trips (oh don’t ask me, I’ve lost track of what country he is in now.) But the important thing is he would return and he’d greet his two children with all the love and affection that he holds for them in his heart and builds with longing when he is away from them. And mid way through that lovefest something would tug at him ever so gently, something in the pit of his stomach would whisper he look up, and he would, tenderly turn his eyes above his children’s frame (not in a neglectful manner as he’d still have them clasped in his embrace) and there he’d meet her third child, now a big and proudly deliciously shaped coconut cream cake. His eyes would widen, fighting all sleep his body ached for and his mouth would instantly shape itself into a tiny ‘o’ as the slightest greeting would escape his mouth and he’d croon, “ooooooh.”
And now he’d get up from his children, because he loves them dearly and they know that but sometimes being tactful is a challenge for him and he’d hugged them and he will play with them later, he knew he would, but right now this coconut cake demanded his attention because he knew it was his wife’s work of love and in it he’d find pleasures not found elsewhere. And so, without a second thought a sharp knife would quickly join his hand and already be digging its way through the coconut cake’s soft flesh.
He’d carve out the first piece and it would give way to his plate showing a pale and light complexion filled with coconut butter cream and framed in fluffy meringue topping. He’d bite and close his eyes, because one could not eat this with external distractions and he’d be absorbed in the impossible contrast of richness and buttery lightness all at once, and there was the coconut flavor, subtle but strong, and the foamy lightheartedness of the meringue topping with a tinge of something familiar, what was it, vanilla? And most importantly it was his wife, his wife and her passion for this cake, a cake she’d deem her third child, that embraced him strongest and filled him with warmth and love and soul. For he traveled everywhere and led a rootless life, but when he bit into that her creation he held on to her tightly, loving her completely without her even being in the room. Eyes still closed and mouth savoring, he knew he was home.
Coconut Cake
(adapted from Celebrate! by the late and great Sheila Lukins)
For the cake:
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon
coconut extract
2 large egg yolks
3 cups sifted all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
½ cup milk
½ cup sour cream
4 large egg whites
For the buttercream:
4 large egg yolks, at room temperature
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 ¾ cups confectioners’ sugar
pinch of salt
6 tablespoons unsweetened coconut milk
For the frosting:
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large egg whites
½ teaspoon cream of tartar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Butter and flour two 9-inch round cake pans.
Prepare the cake:
Cream the butter and 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add the coconut extract. Then add the egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together in another bowl.
In a smaller bowl, combine the milk and sour cream.
Add one third of the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beating on low speed until it is incorporated. Add half the milk mixture and beat until incorporated. Repeat until fully incorporated.
In a separate bowl with clean beaters, beat the egg whites on low speed until they are foamy, 1 minute. Add the remaining 1 cup sugar, increase speed to high and whip the whites until soft peaks form, 3 to 4 minutes. Fold half of the whites gently into the cake batter, using a large rubber spatula. Then gently fold the remaining whites into the batter until just combined. Don’t overmix!
Scrape batter evenly into pans and cook until center comes out clean, 25 minutes. Cool on wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove from pans and cool completely.
Split each layer in half horizontally with a serrated knife. Wrap the layers in plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for 2 hours or overnight.
Prepare the buttercream:
Place the egg yolks and butter in a bowl and beat with an electric mixer on high speed until the mixture is pale yellow, 2 minutes. Add the confectioners’ sugar and salt and beat on low speed until combined. Increase speed to high and beat until the mixture is creamy, 2 more minutes. Add the coconut milk and beat again until combined and creamy, 1 minute. Refrigerate, covered, while you prepare the frosting.
Prepare the frosting:
Place the sugar, the egg whites, ¼ cup water and cream of tartar in the top of a double boiler over simmering water. Beat with an electric mixer on high speed until very firm, 7 minutes. Remove from the heat and add vanilla. Beat until the frosting is cooled and holds a stiff peak.
As soon as the frosting is made, assemble the cake. Place 1 cake layer, cut side down, on a serving plate. Spread it with one third of the buttercream. Repeat with 2 more layers (always spread on smooth side to avoid crumbs). Top with remaining cake layer.
Immediately frost the sides and top of the cake with the frosting. Swirl it on with a frosting knife. This cake is best served on the day it is frosted. Keep at room temperature in a cake server until serving.
